Kosher Foods are Poisoned With LSD!!!

Recently I decided to research Kosher foods. My findings were shocking.

Yesterday I went to my local supermarket and found that they carried Hebrew National hotdogs. Well, this obviously means that Crest Supermarket is an agent of Zion and probably owned by Jo000z, which is why I grow my own produce and slaughter my own meat. Anyways, I told the checker that I did NOT want my money to support the Zionist regime so I asked her if she'd just let me have the hotdogs. I was hoping she was sympathetic to our cause, my brothers. She was not, she said I'd have to pay for them. I saw her eyes turn blood red for a split second and knew she must be a J00. So I had to go home and look for change in my couch. I found less than I thought I would, which means a money hungry J00 had broken into my house and robbed me. But I found enough, and bought the hotdogs.

The first thing I did was get one out, cut off a small piece, and bury the rest of them in the park in the middle of the night. I wasn't comfortable having them in my house, I have heard that j00 hotdogs go rancid in less than an hour and you can't get the smell out no matter what.

So I put the hotdog piece in my mouth and carefully chewed it, wondering if this is what Palestinian tastes like. Within MINUTES after having swallowed, I began seeing very strange colors, and hearing unusual sounds. I began hallucinating, I saw horned J00z dancing all around me, and this caused my bowels to release. For the next several hours I went on a trip that I hope NEVER happens again! I began speaking another language and began realizing it was the devil language of Hebrew. I said words like meshugenneh and latke and oy vey. I went outside and tried to sell things in my house for unreasonable prices. I joined a local community organization and tried to take it over so I could enact the agenda of Zion.

It was the most harrowing experience of my life! My fellow brothers and sisters, this is a warning to you to stay away from Kosher foods of all kinds! If your supermarket sells them, maintain at least a 5 foot distance. I consider myself the stuntman for our cause, so I took the risk. I'm glad to say it wore off and I am now once again a member of the resistance! But you may not be so lucky. Please remember my sacrifice, and spread the word about Kosher foods!